Travel, when done right, is a window to the world. Its a way to experience personal growth. And sometimes it is none of that. Sometimes, it is about going to the cruise ship pool and doing laps, learning that your fat ass barely moves on the slide up on deck 12, eating delicious food is delicious, and on and on. That was the final three full days of our cruise.
We intended, originally, to depart via tender to Grand Cayman and snorkel off the shore. Then we saw that it was a long slow tender ride to the port on the island furthest from the area we wanted to snorkel. And it was cold and threatened rain. So we stayed on the empty ship, ate, slept, used the pool, sat in the lounge and drank, played tennis, whatever we wanted to do that wasn’t real activity. We work hard, we lounge hard. At night, we saw “That’s Entertainment”, the required production show that features Dancing Queen, as dictated by Maritime Law. There was also a suite only free drink session with the big wigs of the ship that we attended and talked to no one at except ourselves. There was free drink after free drink, and after 4 rum punches and a glass of wine, it is entirely honest to tell you that I wasn’t the least bit drunk. What a let down.
Day 6 of the cruise featured more lounging, as we had decided long ago not to book any shore excursions for Cozumel, that day’s stop. Why, you ask? Well, the 8 boats on shore that day carrying 20,000 or so people was a buzzkill for any sort of activity. We did leave the ship to walk around Cozumel for once, and found it crowded, loud, and obnoxious. I could have bought a cheap lucha mask with the Detroit Lions logo stitched on the side and be El Hijo De Barry Sanders for Halloween, but I don’t think anyone would have gotten the reference. Time spent there: 20 minutes. In retrospect, we should have just used the port to do shots before returning to the ship. At least we would have gotten drunk, unlike was the case from anything we drank from the bar.
Our last day on the ship was another sea day, and we watched the farewell show (where the Valli tribute act did the same exact medley they did on the embarkation show) in addition to doing, well, very little. We did, however, manage to finally attend a trivia game for once in our lives. Thanks to Meredith’s incredible memory of pop culture, we came out on top and won free pens. Probably the sweetest victory at anything I’ve had in many, many years.
Disembarkation was a sad affair. We spent as long as we reasonably could on the ship, enjoying one last meal at Cagney’s before leaving and going about heading to MIA and a return to our normal lives. It is worth saying that this cruise was, by far, the least inspiring of itineraries. we took it to go to Ocho Rios and ride the coaster, honestly. From a cultural standpoint, nothing was gained. Zero. There was no objective personal growth. I don’t feel any better about myself as a person or as a representative of America. What I did feel? Relaxed. Refreshed. Full?
The boat as floating resort comes with a great many pitfalls, but this was the first time we went on a cruise were time on the ship was as much an attraction for us as time on shore. It wasn’t so bad. We’re still driven primarily to cruise because of the destinations, but sometimes, you just have to do nothing. And this was one of those times. I can also say that objectively, this felt like the longest trip we had been on together, even if that wasn’t true. The lack of activity had the effect of seemingly slowing time. And we liked it.
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